Romy’s remembrance ceremony took place on August 1st 2014. The texts below are the readings we chose for her, which we hope others may find inspiring.

Extract from The Moon Appears When The Water Is Still

When one drop of rain
Into the ocean falls
Does it cease to be a drop?
Or is now part of a greater scheme?
Since its nature did not change,
Was it ever not part of the ocean?

We are part of a greater whole
Linked by our humane-ness
Joined by our compassion,
Entwined by our frailty.

(Ian McCrorie)

 

Caruso

This was kindly sung for us by our dear friend David Pearl, a trained opera singer. To say that it made the entire ceremony for me is an understatement.
‘Caruso’ is an Italian love song written by Lucio Dalla and it spoke to us because it tells of a young girl with stunning eyes and her connection to her father and the sea. The name Romy means ‘dew of the sea’, and her father was the first and the last person to touch her in this world.

The first two lines of the chorus point to a love beyond words:

Te voglio bene assaje
ma tanto tanto bene sai

I love you very much.
Very very much, you know

We don’t have a recording of David’s performance. The next best we could find is Pavarrotti singing it.

 

Navajo Prayer

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe, 
even when it is a tree 
that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do
, even when it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life
, even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand, 
even when I have gone away from you.

 

The Real Work

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.”

(Wendle Berry)

 

Extract from Here and Now: The Perfect Teacher

‘Generally speaking, we regard discomfort in any form as bad news. But for practitioners or spiritual warriors, people who have a certain hunger to know what is true, feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we are holding back.
They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.
Most of us do not take these situations as teachings. We automatically hate them. We run like crazy.
We are used to all kinds of escaping – all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can’t stand it.
There are so many ways that have been dreamed up to entertain us away from the moment.’

(Pema Chödrön)

 
The Buddhist Metta Reflection of Loving Kindness:

This was shared with those gathered by our celebrant, Rebecca D’Arcy.

Metta is a Pali word meaning the strong wish for the welfare and happiness of others. We start with Romy, then extend to everyone gathered here and then finally expand to include all beings in the universe. When thinking of Romy, you may wish to visualise her wherever she is on the next stage of her journey.

“May Romy be safe and protected,
May Romy be happy and peaceful
May Romy be healthy and strong
May Romy live with ease and happiness.”

“May everyone here be safe and protected
May everyone here be happy and peaceful
May everyone here be healthy and strong
May everyone here live with ease and happiness.”

“May all beings be safe and protected
May all beings be happy and peaceful
May all beings be healthy and strong
May all beings live with ease and happiness.”

Allow

There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a
stream and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting it all in:
the wild and the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes.

(Dana Faulds)

She Is Gone

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

(David Harkins)

 

Celtic Peace Prayer

Deep peace of the running wave to you

Deep peace of the flowing air to you

Deep peace of the quiet earth to you

Deep peace of the shining stars to you

Deep peace of the infinite peace to you

 

From the Burial:

Extract from The Moon Appears When The Water Is Still

The individual waves travel to their destination
And crash eventually upon the shore.
This is their destiny, but not their end
For they are pushed out again
To repeat the cycle,
They are not individual waves
as much as they are the ocean.

(Ian McCrorie)